Fantasy................

Right, I've concocted a few fantasy scenarios. They'll never happen but I wish they would.

1) In the last celeb Big Brother when they had a massive argument (in which Preston was shouting "WANKER!" repeatedly at Galloway) it would have been heart warming if Preston had gone up to Barrymore and said "you soft cunt" quietly yet forcefully down his ear 'ole. At which point Rodman would have started crying & wanking & swearing.

2) If, when the argument had petered out, Preston had uttered "WANKER!" again and the whole thing had been revived.

Here's a fantasy fight:

Lieutenant Worf (from Star Trek next gen)

vs.

Tyson.

This is SO close. Me and John spent all night arriving at a conclusion, but I have finally decided that...........Tyson would win. Think about it. "Warf is trained to kill" I hear you say, to which I agree, but Warf is SLOW. Tyson was a fast mutha at his peak, and I reckon those fast fists could put Warf on his arse before you could say 'dishonour'. I'd love to see it though.

Here's another fantasy fight:

Lenny 'The Guvnor' McLean

vs.

Geoff Capes

Fuck me, I just don't know what to make of this. McLean is obviously much faster, but all Capes would have to do is get him in a bear hug and it would be game over. And if you throw tools into the mix I wager that Capes would 'get handy' with things that normal humans cannot lift. I think Capes can take a dig as well, but I just don't know. On the other hand, Capes is not a fighting man (that I know of) but Lenny is an old hand on the cobbles. It'd be so brutal. The verdict............stalemate. Lenny wouldn't be able to put down Capes but Capes wouldn't be able to make contect with Big Len.

Here's another:

Henry Rollins

vs.

George Hurley

Again, this is a tough call. And as with the last it comes down to background. Both are well built men - although I think Rollins is fitter and Hurley bigger - but all Rollins has had to deal with are those cream puff SoCal punks, whereas Hurley is noted for his pugilistic skills on the mean streets of San Pedro. This ain't no picnic. I pick Hurley. Let's be honest - these two SST veterans would have too much respect to step up to each other. But I definately think Hurley.